AK Chronicles...

Well, I'm back in AK for the second summer in a row. Now, what I'm about to write isn't quite as bad as it sounds, but I can't exactly say I'm stoked.
For the second summer in a row I feel like Alaska has caused some unfortunate things to occur in my life. The girls I take care of are completely worth it because they are the three things I love about summer, but I can't say that coming to Alaska is easy on the flow of my life either. Last summer, my b/f at the time ended our friendship and relationship the day I got back into me home state after emotionally cheating on me all summer. He was a sweetheart...lol. I'm so glad that I found out he wasn't strong enough to be with me, but come on that's pretty sh**ty.
This year, is sadly becoming a case of deja vu for me.
I can't help but wonder if maybe I'm facing some of the moments in my life like mini cliffs that I jump off of with both feet. Maybe I just need to use my head more or maybe I need to put my heart on a shelf until further notice, but both of these options don't let me be who I am.
I am someone who loves and lives whole heartedly, doesn't give up easily, isn't afraid of hurting for a short while to love for a long while, and (basically) risking it all for that one chance to feel like no matter where I am as long as I'm with him (cause I'm not a lesbian...sorry ladies) I'm home. Is this wrong? Trust me, I know it's not the safest way to be, but can I be any other way? We're only here for a short while and I just don't want to miss the one in a million chance that maybe HE will be the next man I'll pass on the street, drive past in my car, or maybe even kiss at some friend's party under the stars before I leave to go home...
The days just seem to disappear faster every time I turn a corner...Moni