Wow! Ol' Writing

So, I wrote this awhile ago, but I just kind of wanted to post it. Not really sure why yet, but I'm doing it anyways. So there!...lol.

985 Cranes
By Moi

Now that the cranes have suddenly gone
And their sweetly covered words have disappeared
I am left;
Left with the hope that they will return;
Left with the reality that they may not;
Left with the sad memory of their departure.
Flashing images plague my eyes
Whether they be opened or closed.
In my mind, reels turn to remind me;
Remind me of the sweeter times;
Remind me of precious moments;
Remind me of the end.

The end.
It came with little warning.
Days before the departure there was no sign;
No sign of chill in the air;
No sign of frost on the ground;
No sign of ice on the rivers.
I believed I could keep them forever.
As the wintery breeze gained strength, I saw the distance grow;
Grow between those cranes and I;
Grow between those precious moments;
Grow between those sweeter times.

So, Now, I am left, but have I lost;
Lost my self;
Lost my strength;
Lost my passion for life?
No.
I have lost my cranes and I have lost their sweetly covered words.
But I pray that they find;
Find their self;
Find their passion;
Find their happiness.


What do you think? I hope you enjoyed it. Some things I'm not happy with yet, but for the most part I like it.
Keep an eye on those days!

CRAZy Feeling!

I feel terrible for all the people in my life right now. I've been so crazy lately. It's kind of ridiculous actually! I mean, I've been surprising myself with my crazy roller coaster emotions and stress level. I'm shocked that anyone is still talking to me. I don't think I'd talk to me, but I guess I kind of have to...lol.
School started out way stronger than I was expecting and not living with family really put me off balance. I think a lot of it comes from not really being able to plan out my next steps. I want to just know already. Where am I gonna get my first job? What's the next big project due in methods? What am I doing this weekend? Will my grades be what I want them to be this semester? Will I EVER be able to pay my Dad back for everything? (Well, probably not, but I plan to try.) Will my friends and I make it through the year as friends? What does this year hold for me?
Just crazy......I can't wait for things to just fall in place, but I also know that with the answers comes the experience, emotions and everything else that goes with the lessons. I'm not sure how I'll react or behave, but I do know that I will make it through no matter what the outcome...
Here's to the days disappearing under your feet and wishing that the world would stop spinning...

Another year and many more to come..YIKES!

Salut to those that actually read this...I actually found out today there are more of you than I knew. Scary. Anyway, summer was much better than expected. Hold your breathe........I actually had a life. I know! Shock and Awww! lol. Me a life...NO!, but it's true boys and girls. I found some amazing people way up there in Alaska.
Early on, all I could really report on was the frequent appearance of MTS (Male Tundra Syndrome). In the first few weeks, I met more freaks than I wanted to know existed. Basically, I was a little put off and disappointed, but it got better. Much better.
Enter, stage left, David and Lara. Oh my...lol. Change my life in just a few weeks! First off, Lara, sweetheart! Probable life-long friend cause we are so much alike. Our first tradition, visiting the strip club on Fridays! I feel the need to include that we also hung with a rapper. Too Short, you should look him up. lol. BUT, second tradition, girl's night in watching movies, boy chatting, and talking about everything taboo. Which by the way, so much fun and I so can't wait for New Year's in Tennessee with her and her frat buds!
Now, David. Wow. Basically amazing in every way. I don't think I have the finesse with words to even begin to describe, but our summer was fantastic. We camped and yurted and had fun times over at his friend's house. He helped me with my lack of disc golf skills. So patient. lol. I watched a zombie movie, which was horrifying, but he let me snuggle in, so it wasn't so bad. I have a new love of most things Gordon Ramsey. lol. Flight of the Conchords. Nuff said! lol. The only not fantastic thing about him is that he's in Arizona, going to law school, like I said, he's amazing. Handsome, Driven, Funny, Intelligent, and Active and Sweet and...well, yeah. I should really stop myself there.
Anyway, My summer has gone so much better than expected. I have some very special people to thank for that. Now all I have to do is unpack and than pack-up for the dorms, but I'm in a scholar's dorm...That's right I'm pretty s.m.r.t as well. lol. Well, Let's just leave it that I do alright for myself. Ok, I've taken up enough of your time. So, ignore everything I've just said and go on about your day. lol... Keep smiling!

AK Chronicles...

Well, I'm back in AK for the second summer in a row. Now, what I'm about to write isn't quite as bad as it sounds, but I can't exactly say I'm stoked.
For the second summer in a row I feel like Alaska has caused some unfortunate things to occur in my life. The girls I take care of are completely worth it because they are the three things I love about summer, but I can't say that coming to Alaska is easy on the flow of my life either. Last summer, my b/f at the time ended our friendship and relationship the day I got back into me home state after emotionally cheating on me all summer. He was a sweetheart...lol. I'm so glad that I found out he wasn't strong enough to be with me, but come on that's pretty sh**ty.
This year, is sadly becoming a case of deja vu for me.
I can't help but wonder if maybe I'm facing some of the moments in my life like mini cliffs that I jump off of with both feet. Maybe I just need to use my head more or maybe I need to put my heart on a shelf until further notice, but both of these options don't let me be who I am.
I am someone who loves and lives whole heartedly, doesn't give up easily, isn't afraid of hurting for a short while to love for a long while, and (basically) risking it all for that one chance to feel like no matter where I am as long as I'm with him (cause I'm not a lesbian...sorry ladies) I'm home. Is this wrong? Trust me, I know it's not the safest way to be, but can I be any other way? We're only here for a short while and I just don't want to miss the one in a million chance that maybe HE will be the next man I'll pass on the street, drive past in my car, or maybe even kiss at some friend's party under the stars before I leave to go home...
The days just seem to disappear faster every time I turn a corner...Moni